Hey, here's another place you get to contribute. Except don't
send me suggestions! I've always loved humorous stories, and the ones that
are true are even funnier. So, submit your funny, true stories so I can
post them! I'll also make a section for funny stories that aren't true
if anyone sends me one. So, mail me your stories and share a bit of your
life with all of us! When you mail, tell me if you want your e-mail posted
and what name to use as the author.
Story 1 ~ The Metro
This story takes place on our family's vacation to Daytona Beach, Florida
about 4 years ago. When we had booked our flights and rental cars, we had
been told that we'd be getting some mid-size luxury car. Well, after our
first ever flight, we wandered around the terminal trying to find out where
we were supposed to pick up our bags. We finally found it, got our luggage
and went over to the car rental booth. Well, my brother, my dad, and I
took the luggage outside to the sidewalk and left my mom to get the car.
When she came out, we headed towards our rental car. Now, you have to picture
this. It was pouring down rain when we got there. The parking lot, due
to lack of decent drainage grates. We get out to the car and find it to
be a Geo Metro. Now, if you've seen a Geo Metro, you know they are NOT
mid-size luxury cars. And to top it off, it was the only car for almost
50 feet and sitting in a puddle of ankle deep water. We "wade" out to the
car and try to start loading the luggage. We got 1 suitcase and my dad's
golf clubs into the trunk. We still had about 4 bags to fit. So, my dad
took everything out of the trunk, slammed the trunk door down and trudged
back to the rental place to get us a "real" car while the rest of us were
forced to stand out in the rain. By the time we got to our hotel to meet
my aunt (who also went) we were soaked to the bone and stayed inside the
rest of the day!
Brandon Sharp
Story 2 ~ The VCR Incident
This took place in 2nd period American History Class. There is this
kid named Josh who is kinda a goof off. He bought this watch at an electronics
store that is like a remote control for a VCR it has buttons for STOP,
PLAY, EJECT, FF and RW. It doesn't work for alot of VCR's but it happened
to work for the one in the American History room. At the beginning of the
year he sat in the front row and the teacher caught on that it was him
and threatened detention if he ever did it in his class again. Well, a
couple months later there was a young unsuspecting substitute and a new
seating arrangement. Josh now sat in the back of the room. The assignment
for the day was to watch a video and then describe the different views
of it in an essay for the next day. The Sub put the video in and the VCR
spit it back out, this happened about 3 times and then it stayed in and
started to play. It played for a little while and then it started rewinding!
The sub obviously thought someone had the remote for the VCR but he found
it in the teacher's desk, so he stopped it and pushed PLAY again. But this
time it started F-forwarding. The sub was getting mighty frustrated again.
So he stopped it, and the video popped out. He pushed it back in and it
popped out. By this time he is swearing up a storm at the VCR, and keep
in mind this is a private school! Every time it starts to work for a while
Josh would play with him for a little bit and then he would push RW. He
trys to mess with some wires, and finally goes and gets someone who might
be able to fix it. Of course the class is about falling out of their seats
with laughter and it's not helping the situation. He brings in a lady from
the AV dept. and the tape works fine, she leaves and it starts to FF again!
By this time class is over and they couldn't have an assignment and the
sub justs decides to quit for the day. And the teacher being so good hearted,
thought the story was so funny that she only gave Josh an hour of Detention.
Suzie Scholten
Story 3 ~ The B.C.
A lady from the mid-west, always quite delicate and elegant, especially
in her language, was planning along with her husband, to spend a couple
of weeks vacationing in Texas. She wrote to a particular camp-groud and
asked for a reservation. She wanted to make sure that the camp-ground was
fully equipped, but didn't quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities.
She just couldn't bring herself to write the word 'toilet' in her letter.
After much deliberation, and being somewhat old fashoned, she came up with
the term 'bathroom commode', but when she wrote that down she still felt
that she was being too forward. So she started all over again, rewrote
the letter and referred to the bathroom commod merely as the 'B.C.'. "Does
the camp-ground have a B.C.?", is actually what she wrote. Well, the camp-ground
owner wasn't at all old fashioned at all and when he got the letter, he
just couldn't figure out what the woman was talking about. That B.C. business
really stumped him. After worrying about it for a while, he showed the
letter to several campers, but they couldn't figure out what the lady was
talking about either. After much deliberation and consultation, he decided
the lady was inquiring about the location of the Baptist Church. So he
sat down and wrote the following reply:
Dear Madam;
I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now
take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located 9 miles north
of the camp-ground, and it is quite capable of seating 250 people at a
time. I admit it is quite a distance if you are in the habit of going regularly,
but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people
take their lunches and their whole family along and make a day of it. They
usually arrive early and stay late, bringing blankets to relax on the lawn
between sessions. The last time my wife and I went was 6 years ago, and
it was so crowded we had to stand up all the time we were there. It may
interest you to know there is a supper being planned to raise money to
buy more seats. The supper will be held in the basement of the B.C. I would
like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly,
but it surely is no lack of desire on my part. As we grow older it seems
to ve more of an effort, especially in cold weather. If you decide to come
to our camp-ground, perhaps we could go with you for the first time, sit
with you, and introduce you to all the other folks. This is a very friendly
community. And should you decide you like our community enough to move
here permanently, I'll be glad to help you with the paper work!
Sincerly,
The Management
Helen Holladay
Story 4 ~ The Locker Predicament
I heard this story at camp from the youth pastor(he was our speaker).
"I was beginning High School, so I was truly excited. First class ended
and I hurried to my locker. We had two rows of lockers on each side of
the hall, one on top of the other. I finished in my locker, while the female
senior with the locker above me was leaning over me to reach her locker.
She was wearing a sweatshirt, which was very loose. I stood up quickly
and found myself in HER SHIRT!!!! She didn't talk to me for a long time.
Rachel Busby
© 1996 Brandon Sharp